51动漫

I believe because other people prayed for me when I couldn檛 pray for myself. In 2012, I lost a child to miscarriage. I wasn檛 angry with God; I didn檛 fall away from my faith. But I檝e never been so quiet, so at a loss for words as when I tried to pray. I found I could be still. I could accept that God is my Lord and that this pain was somehow part of His plan. But I couldn檛 see what the next step looked like. My other child was sixteen months old and needed me to get out of bed each morning. The prayers of my family and friends gave me strength to do that. Sometimes their prayer was their physical presence. Other times it was a spiritual support that upheld me when I felt more lost than I ever had before. I knew I檇 never be the same. I also knew I wasn檛 alone. I knew there was a bigger plan. It was pure grace that got me through the months between the loss and my next pregnancy, and then through that pregnancy to term. When I held my next child in my arms, I experienced pure hope. I saw that he攁nd all of us攁re gifts from God. Life is never earned. It is never guaranteed. God is Lord; He is in charge. And He is kind. He is loving. He walks with us when we檙e in pain. We can see it when we open up our hearts to Him. He is also there when there a happy ending, even when it doesn檛 look like we thought it would. There will always be a gap in my heart, in my life, where that child was. But God has used my suffering for good. I檝e connected with many other women who have lost children. We檝e built community together, creating bonds that are so close because of the magnitude of what we檝e lost. We檝e seen that it when we檙e weak that we are strong. We檝e seen that grace is not our own doing, but on God time, in His way.

LINDSAY SCHLEGEL earned a bachelor degree in English and German from Boston College in 2008. She lives with her family in northern New Jersey. For more on Lindsay work, visit